August 28th, 2023

Hello friends,

     As the door begins to close on summer and fall peaks its head, we begin the harvest and processing of the bounty of our garden. It’s also the time I always used to look back on my life and see where I’ve been and if I’m going in the right direction. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a banjo salesman, but everyone has to start somewhere.
    As a young man freshly out of college I wanted to have some kind of meaningful employment. I went to college in the 60s after all, and I wanted to do something that was going to make a difference in the world. Additionally, I was broke, I didn’t have two nickels to my name and lots of college debt. So, like any other young man, I headed straight to the classified ad section of the local newspaper to look for some kind of job.
       The ad said: "Make a difference…work in the field of air quality and pollution control! Apply Today! Well, I was on it like a wolf sampling sheep dip at a woodland cocktail party. There was an application process and a meeting was set up for Thursday night at 7 o’clock. I remember getting there and it was kind of funny because there must’ve been 30 other people in the group. I thought it was going to be a lot of competition for important job.  I dressed my best and paid close attention to everything being said at the meeting. We were given a big talk about the problems of air pollution, and the dismal predictions for the future if we didn’t do something right away. This was my bag…I was so excited to find meaningful employment. After the peptalk about the dire consequences of our climate mismanagement, we were presented with an invention that was going to change the world. It was a little dome type machine that looked a little bit like R2-D2. The presenter dimmed the lights and flipped the switch and the machine started humming. We were told that this machine would completely purify the air in a large room within 15 minutes. All of the impurities would be taken from the air and deposited in the water container at the bottom of the machine. It was ingenious, a miracle….

      After the first half of the presentation, we broke for a bit and chatted and talked and enjoyed some refreshments. We were told that the second half of the presentation would unveil the full dynamics of this new invention. What if a machine could clean all of the air in your house and remove every bit of dust and dirt that you were otherwise going to breathe? Wouldn’t this be something that every single household in America should have? But what if it could do other things besides clean the air? Wouldn’t that be something that everyone would want? We watched with keen anticipation. The presenter splashed a bucket of water on the floor. With the addition of a simple hose at the input side of the machine, you could suck up water from the floor. The hose, looked vaguely familiar. And then, of course, the other attachments came out. A guy in the crowd shouted out, "it’s a goddamn vacuum cleaner!", and we all started to grumble. Yes, it was…the Rainbow/Rexair was a vacuum cleaner that used a water container at the base to collect dirt that it pulled in through the hose. The cat was out of the bag and people started to file out the side door. But I was desperate I stayed and for that summer I was a traveling, vacuum cleaner salesman.

     Part of our schtick was that we could help you with your credit by getting you a VISA credit card that would help you to finance the machine (at a ridiculous interest rate). We also brought “welcome gifts" to new home owners filled with canned products including "Manwich"(I survived on Manwich that summer!). I sold vacuums to everyone in my family as was usually the case. However, it was the vacuum that I sold to the young girl in a small apartment on Park Avenue…convincing her that she needed a credit card and a vacuum cleaner to make her life more complete, that altered my course. I was so guilt ridden that I went back to her apartment the next day and told her that she did not need a vacuum cleaner, and she did not need a credit card, and that I was going to invalidate the contract. That day I submitted my resignation. My career as an air pollution technician/vacuum cleaner salesman was over. All the better…I could stay home and play with my newly acquired banjo!!

Best regards,

John Bernunzio

It really was a great vacuum BUT if you didn’t remove it from the water base, all metal parts would rust.

High up on Rt. 14A….where the air is always clean and clear.

….we bought some guitars…

I took my lovely wife out for a night on the town and we stopped for a nightcap at the Penn Yan Tavern where I proudly parked my new red ride!

One last sky shot on the ride home.…